Disheartened

Have you ever, in your wildest dreams, thought you'd be what you are at this very moment in time? How did we ever get to this place, do what we're doing, and feeling the way we are? Is it what we want? Is it what we imagined we'd be? Ultimately, are we happy?

For the longest time, I've been so sure that I'm ready to face this inevitable challenge. I feel as if I have so much to offer and at the same time, I have everything to gain. Unfortunately this challenge is missing the most important component. You.  But lately, I feel like running and hiding. Although I'm almost certain you won't even bother looking. Somewhat hoping that you'll never find me again. I don't really know what we're doing, and I don't exactly know what's supposed to happen. I just know that at this very moment I feel like I'm slowly withdrawing my thoughts of you.

Or maybe what I need to do is allow what I'm feeling for you to momentarily slow down because I know I'll terribly miss you if I quit you. And even without quitting, I already do.