When you've known him for the longest time like I do, you'll wonder how I let things happen the way they did. The first time I met him, he was dating someone else. We started bumping into each other more often than I expected. He had his own car and I didn't even have a license. He'd bring me home when I had no other way or when I was terribly drunk. He never asked for anything in return of all the favors he had done for me. The car rides were mostly quiet with an exception of his favorite band playing from his car stereo. The old CD would sometimes skip in between songs. The first time he drove me home I attempted to air-kiss him like I would normally do with any other friend and he leaned away. He explained that it wasn't into it because he didn't like being touched and as a friend, I respected that. I remember I needed to be somewhere immediately and he dropped whatever he was doing at that time and drove me to where I needed to be. At first I thought it was pretty convenient to have him around but then I realized I started to like him. I couldn't stop hearing his favorite band playing in my head. I couldn't stop seeing his boyish smile when I'd close my eyes. I'd get jumpy whenever he'd call or text. I felt like I was in high school all over again. In one car ride, we were talking about relationships. This was a few months after he stopped dating that girl he was dating when we first met. He told me he wasn't ready to date anyone just yet. He told me he imagines that he'd meet a girl unexpectedly and that they'll both immediately know that they'd end up together. Just like that.
I remember one time I completely and obliviously air-kissed him and he allowed it. I was surprised myself. He said that it didn't bother him so much anymore. I remember the adventure we took. We spent over twelve hours on a boat in the summer heat. We spent days in the same room. Things got a little bit overly dramatic at this point and it was completely my fault and I thought that we'd never be the same unexpected friends again. We ended up not talking on the trip back home. He started dating a friend of mine after that adventure. I didn't mind because I was so caught up in my own bubble of salted air and booze that was reminiscent of our adventure that we ended up spending apart. The relationship didn't work out because he wasn't in the stage where he'd take any girl seriously.
We were back being unexpected friends. He had called to say he was going to help me with something important I needed to do. He wasn't very much of help but his presence just made me feel like he actually really cared. He took me to see his world after that day. I was the first girl he has ever brought home to meet his mom. He took me to a wake park where we just sat in silence wrapped in cigarette smoke. He took me to meet his friends. He took me back to where I needed to be. And like clockwork we'd spend another few months apart without any constant communication. And I was okay with it. I'm always okay with it when he unexpectedly disappears because I know he always makes the first move when he wants to come back or show up.
I had just arrived from the province and he calls to ask me out for lunch. He was already waiting outside my house. He taught me how to drive stick and he didn't mind that I kept breaking down his newly purchased car. And just like that he was gone again. I didn't expect to hear from him for a couple of months until we bumped into each other in a club. He held my hand and kissed my cheek and told me not to be mad. You have to understand how surprising this is because this is the same guy that didn't want me to air-kiss him when we were starting our friendship. That same night, he kissed me and told me how I messed up during our adventure and that I had my chance and blew it. I was so confused because this is the same guy that didn't want anything serious. And I thought he changed, but as unexpected comes in the form of this guy, he proved me wrong.
Everything with him has always been random and unexpected.
And maybe that's his thing. For people not to expect anything from him and I should've known better because I already know what kind of person he is. But to this date, when I think of him, I hear his favorite band playing in my head and I just wish that we were still the same unexpected friends in his car sitting in silence without a cloud of drama over our heads.
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